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INTAKE. 962 assessments on file. 2 subjects admitted in 24 hours.

Too few assessments on record to report a sample without indicating who supplied it. The instrument remains on.

GLOBAL INSTITUTE OF GOONABILITY RESEARCH

THE GOON EXCHANGE

Goon Markets

Every subject under assessment, ranked by the figures as they stand. Small samples are reported as small samples rather than withheld — a mean drawn from seven assessments is a real mean, stated with the honesty its sample deserves.

ASSESSMENTS RECORDED

77

ACROSS 18 RATED SUBJECTS

SUBJECTS UNDER ASSESSMENT

28

10 AWAITING A FIRST VOTE

MEAN OF ALL MEANS

5.2

THE AVERAGE SUBJECT, NOT THE AVERAGE VOTE

MOST DIVISIVE

Getting Ghosted

INTERNET EMERGENCY 100.0

28 OF 263 SUBJECTS SHOWN · 18 WITH DATA · RANKED BY MEAN ASSESSMENT, HIGHEST FIRST.

  1. Position 1: The Last Day of Summer VacationLDSV

    Seasonal conclusion. School resumes tomorrow.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 1 ASSESSMENT · MEDIAN 10.0

    10.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  2. Position 2: Quitting Your JobQYJ

    Voluntary separation. Two weeks' notice.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 3 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 10.0 · MILD DISAGREEMENT 23.1

    9.3

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  3. Position 3: A Quiet Day to YourselfQDY

    Unscheduled interval. No obligations recorded.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 9 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 10.0 · MILD DISAGREEMENT 39.7

    8.8

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  4. Position 4: Steve Harvey Crowning the Wrong Miss Universe (2015)SHCW

    Pageant results announcement. Amended on air.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 8 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 9.0 · HIGHLY DIVISIVE 73.9

    7.3

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  5. Position 5: Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" SpeechMLKJ

    Civil rights address. Lincoln Memorial, August 1963.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 6 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 7.5 · HIGHLY DIVISIVE 77.7

    6.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  6. Position 6: Kendrick Lamar's 2025 Super Bowl Halftime PerformanceKLS2

    Halftime broadcast. Thirteen minutes, New Orleans.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 6 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 7.5 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 93.8

    6.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  7. Position 7: Will Smith Slapping Chris Rock (2022 Oscars)WSSC

    Live awards ceremony incident. Unscheduled.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 5 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 8.0 · HIGHLY DIVISIVE 80.0

    6.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  8. Position 8: An InterventionINT2

    Planned conversation. Letters prepared.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 1 ASSESSMENT · MEDIAN 6.0

    6.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  9. Position 9: Getting GhostedGGHO

    Unexplained correspondence termination. No notice issued.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 3 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 7.0 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 100.0

    5.7

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  10. Position 10: Avicii Debuting "Levels" (2011)ADL2

    Live premiere. Progressive house.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 2 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 5.5 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 100.0

    5.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  11. Position 11: Getting a Record DealGRD

    Recording contract. Advance recoupable.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 2 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 5.5 · HIGHLY DIVISIVE 70.7

    5.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  12. Position 12: Miley Cyrus Twerking at the 2013 VMAsMCTA

    Awards broadcast. Foam apparatus.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 5 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 5.0 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 95.3

    5.2

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  13. Position 13: The Gold RushGRUS

    Mineral migration. California, 1848.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 2 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 3.5 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 99.0

    3.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  14. Position 14: Fyre Festival (2017)FF2

    Canceled music festival. Accommodation: relief tents.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 8 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 0.5 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 89.9

    3.3

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  15. Position 15: Music FestivalsMFES

    Multi-day outdoor concert. Wristband issued.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 1 ASSESSMENT · MEDIAN 3.0

    3.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  16. Position 16: Getting Delayed on the Airport TarmacGDOA

    Aircraft held at the gate or on the apron. Duration unstated.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 8 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 2.0 · MILD DISAGREEMENT 21.4

    1.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  17. Position 17: Rush Hour TrafficRHT

    Peak-period traffic congestion. Duration unspecified.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 6 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 0.5 · STRONG CONSENSUS 16.3

    0.7

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  18. Position 18: The Sunday ScariesSSCA

    Weekly anticipatory dread. Onset Sunday afternoon.

    EVENTS · EARLY RESEARCH · 1 ASSESSMENT · MEDIAN 0.0

    0.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  19. Unranked: Airport Bars at 7 AMABA7

    Early licensed service. Clock disregarded.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  20. Unranked: Barack Obama's Tan SuitBOST

    Presidential suiting. White House briefing, August 2014.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  21. Unranked: Canceling Plans at the Last MinuteCPAL

    Commitment withdrawn. Relief undisclosed.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  22. Unranked: Comic-ConCCON

    Comics and pop-culture convention. San Diego, since 1970.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  23. Unranked: Keeping a Festival Wristband On for WeeksKFWO

    Souvenir retention. Clasp sealed.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  24. Unranked: Rain On A WindowROW

    Meteorological phenomenon. Visual observation via glass.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  25. Unranked: Running Away From HomeRAFH

    Unplanned departure. Snacks packed.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  26. Unranked: Staying IndoorsSIND

    Voluntary confinement. Plans declined.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  27. Unranked: VeganismVEGA

    Dietary and ethical practice. No animal products.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  28. Unranked: Work RetreatsWRET

    Corporate offsite. Attendance expected.

    EVENTS · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN

FIGURES

FIG. 2 — MEAN BY CLASSIFICATION · WEIGHTED BY ASSESSMENT
Places
mean 10.0 of 10, from 1 assessments across 2 subjects
Crime
mean 7.5 of 10, from 2 assessments across 5 subjects
Dating & Relationships
mean 7.0 of 10, from 6 assessments across 2 subjects
Beverages
mean 6.3 of 10, from 11 assessments across 4 subjects
Animals
mean 6.0 of 10, from 8 assessments across 5 subjects
Money
mean 6.0 of 10, from 7 assessments across 4 subjects
Characters
mean 6.0 of 10, from 58 assessments across 7 subjects
People
mean 5.5 of 10, from 41 assessments across 11 subjects
Games
mean 5.4 of 10, from 21 assessments across 12 subjects
Nostalgia
mean 5.3 of 10, from 33 assessments across 6 subjects
Food & Beverage
mean 5.3 of 10, from 95 assessments across 30 subjects
Events
mean 5.2 of 10, from 77 assessments across 28 subjects
Fast Food
mean 5.1 of 10, from 21 assessments across 4 subjects
Television
mean 5.1 of 10, from 56 assessments across 12 subjects
Animation
mean 4.9 of 10, from 100 assessments across 17 subjects
Sounds
mean 4.8 of 10, from 22 assessments across 4 subjects
Household
mean 4.6 of 10, from 21 assessments across 8 subjects
Film
mean 4.5 of 10, from 149 assessments across 19 subjects
Nightlife & Vice
mean 4.4 of 10, from 7 assessments across 8 subjects
Memes
mean 4.3 of 10, from 22 assessments across 6 subjects
Objects & Artifacts
mean 4.0 of 10, from 5 assessments across 4 subjects
Technology
mean 3.9 of 10, from 61 assessments across 9 subjects
Politics & Religion
mean 3.9 of 10, from 36 assessments across 7 subjects
Vehicles
mean 3.7 of 10, from 23 assessments across 5 subjects
Toys
mean 3.4 of 10, from 17 assessments across 3 subjects
Anime
mean 3.0 of 10, from 16 assessments across 12 subjects
Infrastructure
mean 3.0 of 10, from 1 assessments across 3 subjects
Internet Culture
mean 3.0 of 10, from 45 assessments across 16 subjects
FIG. 3 — CONSENSUS AGAINST DISPERSION · n = 14
Quitting Your Job — 9.3/10 · controversy 23.1 · 3 assessmentsA Quiet Day to Yourself — 8.8/10 · controversy 39.7 · 9 assessmentsSteve Harvey Crowning the Wrong Miss Universe (2015) — 7.3/10 · controversy 73.9 · 8 assessmentsMartin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" Speech — 6.5/10 · controversy 77.7 · 6 assessmentsKendrick Lamar's 2025 Super Bowl Halftime Performance — 6.0/10 · controversy 93.8 · 6 assessmentsWill Smith Slapping Chris Rock (2022 Oscars) — 6.0/10 · controversy 80.0 · 5 assessmentsGetting Ghosted — 5.7/10 · controversy 100.0 · 3 assessmentsAvicii Debuting "Levels" (2011) — 5.5/10 · controversy 100.0 · 2 assessmentsGetting a Record Deal — 5.5/10 · controversy 70.7 · 2 assessmentsMiley Cyrus Twerking at the 2013 VMAs — 5.2/10 · controversy 95.3 · 5 assessmentsThe Gold Rush — 3.5/10 · controversy 99.0 · 2 assessmentsFyre Festival (2017) — 3.3/10 · controversy 89.9 · 8 assessmentsGetting Delayed on the Airport Tarmac — 1.5/10 · controversy 21.4 · 8 assessmentsRush Hour Traffic — 0.7/10 · controversy 16.3 · 6 assessmentsDIVISIVEQUIETLY REJECTEDADORED

LEFT TO RIGHT: MEAN 0 TO 10 · BOTTOM TO TOP: CONTROVERSY 0 TO 100 · 2 SUBJECTS AT MAXIMUM DISPERSION, WHICH A HANDFUL OF SPLIT VOTES IS ENOUGH TO REACH

Quitting Your Job
mean 9.3 of 10, controversy 23.1 of 100, from 3 assessments
A Quiet Day to Yourself
mean 8.8 of 10, controversy 39.7 of 100, from 9 assessments
Steve Harvey Crowning the Wrong Miss Universe (2015)
mean 7.3 of 10, controversy 73.9 of 100, from 8 assessments
Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" Speech
mean 6.5 of 10, controversy 77.7 of 100, from 6 assessments
Kendrick Lamar's 2025 Super Bowl Halftime Performance
mean 6.0 of 10, controversy 93.8 of 100, from 6 assessments
Will Smith Slapping Chris Rock (2022 Oscars)
mean 6.0 of 10, controversy 80.0 of 100, from 5 assessments
Getting Ghosted
mean 5.7 of 10, controversy 100.0 of 100, from 3 assessments
Avicii Debuting "Levels" (2011)
mean 5.5 of 10, controversy 100.0 of 100, from 2 assessments
Getting a Record Deal
mean 5.5 of 10, controversy 70.7 of 100, from 2 assessments
Miley Cyrus Twerking at the 2013 VMAs
mean 5.2 of 10, controversy 95.3 of 100, from 5 assessments
The Gold Rush
mean 3.5 of 10, controversy 99.0 of 100, from 2 assessments
Fyre Festival (2017)
mean 3.3 of 10, controversy 89.9 of 100, from 8 assessments
Getting Delayed on the Airport Tarmac
mean 1.5 of 10, controversy 21.4 of 100, from 8 assessments
Rush Hour Traffic
mean 0.7 of 10, controversy 16.3 of 100, from 6 assessments

Figures update continuously. Confidence rises with sample size, and every subject reports the state of its own sample beside its score — nothing here is held back until a quota is met.

ASSESS A SUBJECTMETHODOLOGY