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INTAKE. 962 assessments on file. 2 subjects admitted in 24 hours.

Too few assessments on record to report a sample without indicating who supplied it. The instrument remains on.

GLOBAL INSTITUTE OF GOONABILITY RESEARCH

THE GOON EXCHANGE

Goon Markets

Every subject under assessment, ranked by the figures as they stand. Small samples are reported as small samples rather than withheld — a mean drawn from seven assessments is a real mean, stated with the honesty its sample deserves.

ASSESSMENTS RECORDED

95

ACROSS 18 RATED SUBJECTS

SUBJECTS UNDER ASSESSMENT

30

12 AWAITING A FIRST VOTE

MEAN OF ALL MEANS

5.9

THE AVERAGE SUBJECT, NOT THE AVERAGE VOTE

MOST DIVISIVE

Pumpkin Spice Latte

INTERNET EMERGENCY 89.2

30 OF 263 SUBJECTS SHOWN · 18 WITH DATA · RANKED BY MEAN ASSESSMENT, HIGHEST FIRST.

  1. Position 1: Frosted Wildlicious Wild Berry Pop-TartsFWWB

    Frosted berry toaster pastry. Eight-count packaging.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 4 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 9.0 · MILD DISAGREEMENT 23.1

    9.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  2. Position 2: A Juicy PeachJPEA

    Ripe stone fruit. Prunus persica, high free moisture.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 3 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 10.0 · MILD DISAGREEMENT 34.6

    9.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  3. Position 3: Dippin' DotsDDOT

    Cryogenic ice cream. Small beaded consistency.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 3 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 10.0 · MILD DISAGREEMENT 34.6

    9.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  4. Position 4: A Perfectly Ripe AvocadoPRA

    Yields to gentle pressure. Window brief.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 1 ASSESSMENT · MEDIAN 8.0

    8.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  5. Position 5: NachosNACH

    Tortilla chip platform. Topping distribution uneven.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 1 ASSESSMENT · MEDIAN 8.0

    8.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  6. Position 6: Costco Rotisserie ChickenCRC

    Sold below cost. Deliberately.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 9 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 10.0 · HIGHLY DIVISIVE 66.7

    7.9

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  7. Position 7: Hot SauceHSAU

    Chili-based condiment. Heat variable.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 3 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 10.0 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 80.8

    7.7

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  8. Position 8: A Warm Apple PieWAP

    Double-crusted fruit pastry. Served above room temperature.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 4 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 7.5 · STRONG CONSENSUS 11.5

    7.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  9. Position 9: Fruit by the FootFBF

    Fruit snack. Sold by length.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 4 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 6.0 · CONTENTIOUS 60.0

    6.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  10. Position 10: Flamin' Hot CheetosFHC

    Spiced corn snack. Fingertips stained red.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 11 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 7.0 · HIGHLY DIVISIVE 78.5

    5.7

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  11. Position 11: An Air FryerAFRY

    Countertop convection appliance. Optional oil addition.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 11 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 4.0 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 87.8

    5.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  12. Position 12: A Bowl of CheeriosBCHE

    Toroidal oat cereal. Served in milk.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 6 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 4.5 · CONTENTIOUS 42.7

    5.2

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  13. Position 13: GushersGUSH

    Fruit snack. Liquid center.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 2 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 4.5 · HIGHLY DIVISIVE 70.7

    4.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  14. Position 14: Pumpkin Spice LattePSL

    Available seasonally. Discussed perennially.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 12 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 0.5 · INTERNET EMERGENCY 89.2

    3.6

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  15. Position 15: Airline FoodAFOO

    Meal service at altitude. Cabin pressure applied.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 6 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 2.5 · CONTENTIOUS 51.8

    3.5

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  16. Position 16: Burger King Crown NuggetsBKCN

    Crown-shaped chicken nuggets. Breaded outer coating.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 5 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 3.0 · CONTENTIOUS 47.7

    3.2

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  17. Position 17: Room Temperature Tap WaterRTTW

    Municipal. Unremarkable. Honest.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 1 ASSESSMENT · MEDIAN 3.0

    3.0

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  18. Position 18: SpamSPAM

    Canned. Cooked. Divisive.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · EARLY RESEARCH · 9 ASSESSMENTS · MEDIAN 0.0 · STRONG CONSENSUS 8.8

    0.2

    unchanged since the previous close

    MEAN
  19. Unranked: A Hot Dog at a Baseball GameHDAB

    Ballpark concession. Mustard advised.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  20. Unranked: A Jar of MayonnaiseJMAY

    Emulsified condiment. Refrigerate after opening.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  21. Unranked: A Warm BaguetteWBAG

    Freshly baked. Structurally confident.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  22. Unranked: Endless Appetizers at Friday'sEAAF

    Casual dining promotion. Refills continued.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  23. Unranked: FritosFRIT

    Corn chip. Introduced 1932.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  24. Unranked: Garlic BreadGBRE

    Bread, garlic-treated. Toasted to specification.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  25. Unranked: Hotel Breakfast BuffetsHBB

    Morning spread. Waffle iron self-operated.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  26. Unranked: Never-Ending Soup, Salad, and Breadsticks at Olive GardenNESS

    Casual dining provision. Breadstick supply unmetered.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  27. Unranked: Ordering Pizza on a Friday NightOPOF

    Weekly delivery ritual. Toppings negotiated.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  28. Unranked: Ordering Takeout Instead of CookingOTIC

    Meal outsourced. Groceries retained.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  29. Unranked: Shopping at Trader Joe'sSATJ

    Grocery chain. Private label.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN
  30. Unranked: Taco TuesdayTTUE

    Weekly promotion. Trademark contested.

    FOOD & BEVERAGE · AWAITING FIRST ASSESSMENT

    No assessments yet. We need your votes to help decide what is worth gooning for.

    —

    MEAN

FIGURES

FIG. 2 — MEAN BY CLASSIFICATION · WEIGHTED BY ASSESSMENT
Places
mean 10.0 of 10, from 1 assessments across 2 subjects
Crime
mean 7.5 of 10, from 2 assessments across 5 subjects
Dating & Relationships
mean 7.0 of 10, from 6 assessments across 2 subjects
Beverages
mean 6.3 of 10, from 11 assessments across 4 subjects
Animals
mean 6.0 of 10, from 8 assessments across 5 subjects
Money
mean 6.0 of 10, from 7 assessments across 4 subjects
Characters
mean 6.0 of 10, from 58 assessments across 7 subjects
People
mean 5.5 of 10, from 41 assessments across 11 subjects
Games
mean 5.4 of 10, from 21 assessments across 12 subjects
Nostalgia
mean 5.3 of 10, from 33 assessments across 6 subjects
Food & Beverage
mean 5.3 of 10, from 95 assessments across 30 subjects
Events
mean 5.2 of 10, from 77 assessments across 28 subjects
Fast Food
mean 5.1 of 10, from 21 assessments across 4 subjects
Television
mean 5.1 of 10, from 56 assessments across 12 subjects
Animation
mean 4.9 of 10, from 100 assessments across 17 subjects
Sounds
mean 4.8 of 10, from 22 assessments across 4 subjects
Household
mean 4.6 of 10, from 21 assessments across 8 subjects
Film
mean 4.5 of 10, from 149 assessments across 19 subjects
Nightlife & Vice
mean 4.4 of 10, from 7 assessments across 8 subjects
Memes
mean 4.3 of 10, from 22 assessments across 6 subjects
Objects & Artifacts
mean 4.0 of 10, from 5 assessments across 4 subjects
Technology
mean 3.9 of 10, from 61 assessments across 9 subjects
Politics & Religion
mean 3.9 of 10, from 36 assessments across 7 subjects
Vehicles
mean 3.7 of 10, from 23 assessments across 5 subjects
Toys
mean 3.4 of 10, from 17 assessments across 3 subjects
Anime
mean 3.0 of 10, from 16 assessments across 12 subjects
Infrastructure
mean 3.0 of 10, from 1 assessments across 3 subjects
Internet Culture
mean 3.0 of 10, from 45 assessments across 16 subjects
FIG. 3 — CONSENSUS AGAINST DISPERSION · n = 15
Frosted Wildlicious Wild Berry Pop-Tarts — 9.0/10 · controversy 23.1 · 4 assessmentsA Juicy Peach — 9.0/10 · controversy 34.6 · 3 assessmentsDippin' Dots — 9.0/10 · controversy 34.6 · 3 assessmentsCostco Rotisserie Chicken — 7.9/10 · controversy 66.7 · 9 assessmentsHot Sauce — 7.7/10 · controversy 80.8 · 3 assessmentsA Warm Apple Pie — 7.5/10 · controversy 11.5 · 4 assessmentsFruit by the Foot — 6.5/10 · controversy 60.0 · 4 assessmentsFlamin' Hot Cheetos — 5.7/10 · controversy 78.5 · 11 assessmentsAn Air Fryer — 5.5/10 · controversy 87.8 · 11 assessmentsA Bowl of Cheerios — 5.2/10 · controversy 42.7 · 6 assessmentsGushers — 4.5/10 · controversy 70.7 · 2 assessmentsPumpkin Spice Latte — 3.6/10 · controversy 89.2 · 12 assessmentsAirline Food — 3.5/10 · controversy 51.8 · 6 assessmentsBurger King Crown Nuggets — 3.2/10 · controversy 47.7 · 5 assessmentsSpam — 0.2/10 · controversy 8.8 · 9 assessmentsDIVISIVEQUIETLY REJECTEDADORED

LEFT TO RIGHT: MEAN 0 TO 10 · BOTTOM TO TOP: CONTROVERSY 0 TO 100

Frosted Wildlicious Wild Berry Pop-Tarts
mean 9.0 of 10, controversy 23.1 of 100, from 4 assessments
A Juicy Peach
mean 9.0 of 10, controversy 34.6 of 100, from 3 assessments
Dippin' Dots
mean 9.0 of 10, controversy 34.6 of 100, from 3 assessments
Costco Rotisserie Chicken
mean 7.9 of 10, controversy 66.7 of 100, from 9 assessments
Hot Sauce
mean 7.7 of 10, controversy 80.8 of 100, from 3 assessments
A Warm Apple Pie
mean 7.5 of 10, controversy 11.5 of 100, from 4 assessments
Fruit by the Foot
mean 6.5 of 10, controversy 60.0 of 100, from 4 assessments
Flamin' Hot Cheetos
mean 5.7 of 10, controversy 78.5 of 100, from 11 assessments
An Air Fryer
mean 5.5 of 10, controversy 87.8 of 100, from 11 assessments
A Bowl of Cheerios
mean 5.2 of 10, controversy 42.7 of 100, from 6 assessments
Gushers
mean 4.5 of 10, controversy 70.7 of 100, from 2 assessments
Pumpkin Spice Latte
mean 3.6 of 10, controversy 89.2 of 100, from 12 assessments
Airline Food
mean 3.5 of 10, controversy 51.8 of 100, from 6 assessments
Burger King Crown Nuggets
mean 3.2 of 10, controversy 47.7 of 100, from 5 assessments
Spam
mean 0.2 of 10, controversy 8.8 of 100, from 9 assessments

Figures update continuously. Confidence rises with sample size, and every subject reports the state of its own sample beside its score — nothing here is held back until a quota is met.

ASSESS A SUBJECTMETHODOLOGY